Avery Good Life

The Viscious Circle... or, the curel joke that is my life. Whatever.

2012-01-14T11:15:00.002-07:00

My water bill is $95 this month. In the month of December, I used over $34 in water alone. And another $26 in "waste water".

Why is my bill the size it should be for a home watering a lawn in July??

Because Bryon thinks he needs a bath everytime he needs to poop. As in, he poops in the tub. Which means that he then needs a shower and I need to scrub the tub with bleach.

Why does Bryon feel the need to poop in the tub?

Oh, right. Because I have an 8 year old that eats mostly baby food and macaroni and cheese.

And that's not going to change any time soon.

Awesome.

All In A Day. Or In My Case, An Hour And A Half

2011-09-27T17:26:00.004-07:00

Timmy was in rare form today. His mood had improved since I wrestled him onto the bus this morning, so all was now well.

I tolerated him throwing ice down my shirt because he thought the sound I made was funny. I'm a pretty tolerant mom when I need to be.

And then I saw this...

He said he was "a cute puppy". (I blame Blue's Clues)

I said it was a huge waste of my mascara.

Anyway... apparently taking his picture caused him a great deal of distress. As I was consoling him because he was so distraught, Aly decided to get in on the hug.

I tried to move away so he wouldn't kick her in his agitation, but I was too late.

She started to scream and I pulled this out of Tim's hand.

Now, it might not look like a lot, but she has really light hair. And really, does it matter HOW MUCH hair your brother has just pulled out of your head?

Mr. Raccoon went to time out and Aly continued to cry through her snuggle.

I asked her if she was ok and she clearly decided to press the advantage of her recent injury.

"No, I just wanna watch 'Rockadoodle'."

I could not contain my laughter. Thankfully, my laugh is contagious and Aly was soon laughing as well.

Needless to say, we are watching "Rockadoodle". Much to my chagrin.

Dilemma

2011-08-16T16:51:00.000-07:00

Timmy has issues. Most autistic kids do. I try to let him be himself unless/until someone else gets hurt. He can get mean (my sister has nicknamed him 'angry bird' because he's cute and mean) and when he gets mean, there's trouble.

We always say that Timmy's fine until he isn't.

Here's the dilemma. He has buttons, and Aly knows every one of them. Not only that, she likes to push them. All. The. Time.

My life is a never ending circle of timing time outs.

It's difficult to explain that while yes, she did get hurt in the end, she is still getting punished because she "started it". Ane believe me, she starts it.

The moment I get Tim calmed down, she starts again. My poor boy get so hysterical it's like he can't even see me for his rage/hyteria/determination to get her.

It's almost as if he shouldn't get time out because he can't help his reactions, but I kinda have to because he does ultimately hurt her.

I feel like I'm on a violent merry go round that won't ever end.

I would like to get off now, please.

Finger Painting...

2011-08-06T14:53:00.003-07:00

We were finger painting. I walked away to answer my phone. Then had to hang up in a hurry because I saw this...

What Can I Say...

2011-07-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

The kid LOVES calendars.

Yes, it came off. I do love magic erasers.

Brilliant

2011-07-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

Do I really need to say anything?

My kid's a smarty pants.

Creative, too.

Worman

2011-07-22T00:16:00.000-07:00

Ever seen the Backyardigans?

No?

You're missing out.

Take a peek.

I apologize now if that song stays in your head for days.

Anyway, cute little things, right?

Timmy thinks so, too.

Clearly my son has a future as an animator for Nick Jr.

Because I Don't Do Anything Half Way

2011-07-21T14:34:00.001-07:00

The solution to your kid breaking eggs on your ceiling when you're still asleep. :)

I'm On a Boat! or In a Box. Whatever.

2011-07-21T14:10:00.002-07:00

Everytime I see these pictures I think of that Andy Samburg sketch "I'm on a boat!"

Except, I sing, You're in a box!

Let's be real. At age 8 and 4, you don't need a boat if you have a box. :)

Bry Bry Turns 8 (I know, I'm shocked, too)

2011-07-18T00:27:00.000-07:00

If you forget what my Bryon looks like, you can look:

Here or Here

So, let me just tell you about the fantastic little Bryon.

BryBry is going into 3rd grade. Unbelieveable.

He LOVES pipecleaners.

And pudding.

And his new iPad. (Thanks Sara)

He loves to snuggle.

And he'll pull up his shirt so you can give him a "tickle, tickle"

He loves school. And primary. And his parents.

Though he is not a very big fan of the noise his siblings make.

He isn't chewing solid food yet. And he's not completely potty trained.

But I don't really care.

Because, to me, he is perfect.

Happy Birthday, Bryon.

Just When I Thought I Was Doing a Little Better

2011-06-29T11:32:00.002-07:00

I've read 3 books this week. I am back to reading a book in a day. This is a pretty big deal for me because I haven't done it in a while. Like, a really long while. And I used to do it all the time.

So, here I am telling twitter all about how I think I must be doing better anf how this is a really good sign.

And then a few minor things happened that completely ruined my day when they shouldn't have. And now I feel like crap. Because I have let these few minor things ruin what I thought was going to be a pretty good day.

I just want my life back. I don't want to become crazy and uber depressed over the little stuff.

Except, it's not really little stuff. I mean, it is, but I manage to turn it into something bigger.

Here's the deal.

Scott and I were chatting on this unusually quiet morning. (Aly is not home and so WW 3 is on hold for a bit) Things are looking up for us. Potentially. Yay. I was going to go out with my friend/cousin tonight for her birthday.

I had intended to be ready to go with the kids as soon as my respite worker got here so we could run some necessary errands.

Cousin can't go tonight because her dad and step mom are taking her out for her birthday. That's a good thing, but I'm kinda bummed we won't be going out. We will make plans for another day that she is in town.

Even though that made a few of the errands a little less important, I still had things to do.

Except then the respite worker texted to say she would be an hour late. Can't really blame her, her boyfriend was in the hospital all night.

20 Minutes before she was supposed to be here, she texted again saying she couldn't come today as they still had not been discharged from the hospital. Again, not her fault.

Ok. So. Nothing terribly major, right? You would think.

However, this is how my sick, twisted little mind works...

I hate that I have to depend on other people to help me take care of my children. I wish I was able to do it myself. Unfortunately, past trips have proved to me that I am not able to do this alone.

Which makes me feel like a completely incompetent mother.

*I really wish I could find the referral to my counselor. I can't start therapy until I find it or get a new one. I think it is in my kitchen somewhere. Which makes me feel like a terrible housekeeper.

**I loaned a library book to the respite worker that is out of town this summer. It is due tomorrow, I can't renew it, and I am at the mercy of her idiot pothead brother to be home so I can retrieve it. I feel stupid and really want to break something. Possibly her neck for not getting it back to me before she went out of town. Mostly I feel stupid for loaning it to her in the first place.

Creative Spelling

2011-06-18T15:18:00.002-07:00

Tim can spell most everything. He really is quite good.

Aly is not great. She does that whole "g-b-d-l-x Aly". It's pretty cute.

Sometimes, their spelling gets creative. In a good way:

Aly (looking at the login acreen on the computer): "T-E-N-I-L-L-E. Mama."

Tim: "M-O-M-M-Y. That spells love."

Things like this make a lot of their crap easier to deal with. Not all of it, but some.

Kinda Funny, But Kinda Not

2011-06-14T21:30:00.003-07:00

Girls like to gossip. It's what we do.

So, inevitably, when we get together, we talk about each other. Shut up, you know you do it.

I usually find it funny when a conversation goes something like this...

"I hate when she complains about her life/kids. I mean really, what does she really have to complain about? I would take her kids/life any day. I'd probably trade lives with anybody. Well, except maybe Tenille..."

I am not even kidding.

Now, I do not want you to think I am saying anything bad, because I adore this person and I know it was't said maliciously. Also, she is not the 1st person to say this, just the most recent.

I get it. My kids are hard. They are. I am very aware of it since I spend all day every day with them. But with that being said, allow me to bitch for a moment.

I don't get a lot of back up and support because my kids are "so hard."

Um, wouldn't you think that this means I need help MORE than the average person?

Yes, they are hard. Really hard. To the point that I dissolve into a puddle of tears every day and I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown/panic attack every damn day.

So please keep in mind that if you want to bitch and moan about the way I am raising my children, I get to smack you and possibly run you over with my car if you want to offer opinions and no help.

That is all.

**Wow, I did not intend for this post to be mean. Oh well. Caroline will screen you if you try to say anything nasty. Then she'll tell me who I need to run over with my car. Or maybe HER car since she is so dang good at running people.**

What Part of "He Doesn't Chew" Do You Not Understand??

2011-06-07T19:48:00.002-07:00

I have been working hard with my doctor and my DDD/DES case coordinator to get my son some pediasure delivered to our house. (Have you ever purchased pediasure? it ain't cheap.)

The doc has recommended that I give him 2 a day to help supplement his vitamins, calories, etc, because my son doesn't chew.

Yes, I said he DOESN'T CHEW!

My BryBry eats the following:

Instant oatmeal
Yogurt
Pudding
Gerber stage 3 baby food (Gerber and only Gerber. He will check the label to be sure you aren't pulling a fast one. he is on to me)
Macaroni and cheese (mixed in with the babyfood so he can swallow it whole. yes, it is as weird as it sounds. kind of like a snake unhinging its jaw. seriously.)

That's it. He will occasionally eat applesauce and I have recently introduced greek yogurt (12 grams of protein per serving, hello).

I have become a master of mixing vanilla ice cream and half & half in the oatmeal to increase calories.

But that's it. That's all. He consumes so few calories per day because, let's face it, yogurt only has so many calories in it.

However, because I have magically somehow managed to keep my child @ the 50th percentile for weight, he was denied the pediasure by my super awesome (insert sarcasm here) insurance company.

At this point, my only hope is that he is "underweight" for an 8 year old since he is clearly not underweight for a 7 year old.

I hate people.

Things I May Have Said This Week

2011-06-06T13:23:00.012-07:00

These are much more fun when posted out of context.

Don't let the dog eat your poop!

Where are your pants?

Yes, Bryon, you make a very pretty Ariel.

I don't care when flag day is!

Not now, sweetie. mommy's playing with it.

Why is there a screw in my garbage disposal? Where's the screw gun?

That is NOT a toy!

Aly, we can share our princess clothes with our brothers.

We do not put marshmallows in our noses.

Why is my daughter dressed like a whore?

No, you cannot share a bath with your brother.

Air compressors are not for little people.

How on earth do you flood both bathrooms at the same time??

That's what happens when you play with the air compressor.

Why are you showering in your swim suit??

What on earth did you eat? That's unnatural. Maybe you should start pooping in the potty.

Still not a toy kid.

Your son has a definite future in exotic dancing. Yes, I know he is one. Trust me.

Where did you get that marker?

Why did you draw a shovel on your tummy?

Just because mommy has tattoos, doesn't mean you can have them. (I may have screwed myself here)

Don't poop in the tub!

Your kid is passed out like a drunk monkey. (okay, it's my kid, too. and I don't actually know what a drunk monkey looks like.)

You are NOT and elephant and that it NOT your trunk. No more Wordworld for you, kid.

Who invented summer vacation? They have a date with my shotgun.

Yip, yip, yip, yip, dancing the worman polka...

Well, if he's going to draw on my floor, at least he is a good artist.

I'm going to the store. For magic erasers. Yes, I know I just bought them. Trust me, we need more. You don't really want to know. Don't go in the boys room while I'm gone. Actually, maybe YOU should go to the store.

This is NOT a nudist colony. If you are always naked, how come I do so much laundry?

Mr. Helpful

2011-06-06T13:14:00.002-07:00

Timmy is obsessed with calendars.

To the point where he uses and destroys all my calendars.

He loves to draw his own. When he can't find paper, he improvises.

And yes, that is in black permanent marker. That doesn't scrub as easily as it should with a magic eraser.

Please note that he also wrote that it was flag day, father's day, and Chase's birthday.

Because, you know, he is nothing if not thorough.

She Thinks She's Soooo Funny

2011-06-04T15:45:00.003-07:00

Alyson apparently thinks she's a comedienne or something.

Some of her jokes are not appropriate for this post. (Not even kidding)

Today's was hi-larious.

Aly: Kai (the dog) needs to go outside.

Scott: Does she need to go poop in the dirt? (Aly's fave phrase)

Aly: yeah. just like Bryon. hee hee hee.

She's a lot like Jimmy Fallon. The first to laugh at her own jokes. Scott and I had to laugh as well.

I'm raising a monster.

Giveaway Winner and Discount Code

2011-05-30T06:00:00.001-07:00

True Random Number Generator

Min: 1
Max: 17
Result:
16
Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Our winner is comment #16 which belongs to Linsey!

Thanks to all who entered.

Linsey, send me your email address (tenille.avery at gmail.com) and I will send you the info you need to claim your digital scrapbooking software.

If you didn't win, don't worry!

If you want the My Memories Suite v2 software that Linsey just won, the beautiful people at My Memories are offering a $10 off discount. Just use Code STMMMS44890 at checkout (copy and paste so you get it right) and receive your discount!

Thanks for entering!

My Kid is Funnier Than Your Kid

2011-05-29T18:58:00.002-07:00

Someone needs to follow my child around with a video camera all the time.

Timmy was asked to pray at church today. The 1st time, he was great. Lots of cute voice inflections. (think LDS General Conference)

The 2nd time, however, went a little something like this:

"How would you like a large pepperoni pizza for only $5?"

His teachers said they thought it was great, but could he please say the prayer now.

He did. :)

It's possible that my kid with the bionic hearing is around the TV too much. He also tends to talk a lot about how Circle K has everything you need.

I love this kid.

I'm Over It

2011-05-25T08:04:00.002-07:00

I am so, so over all these "studies" showing what "causes" autism.

Here's a link to the newest one.

http://www.healthcanal.com/pregnancy-childbirth/17422-Women-who-start-prenatal-vitamins-early-are-less-likely-have-children-with-autism.html

Here's the problem. I took prenatals and folic acid within the first 2 weeks of becoming pregnant. In the case of Bryon, I was already taking prenatals and folic acid before I was pregnant, because I was trying to become pregnant.

I am just so sick of people wasting their time and money on stupid studies that are completely useless.

Maybe we are just the family that breaks the mold on all autism research. Everything they come out with does not apply to us and we have 2 boys with autism. We also have a girl without it and I did all the same things with all 3 of my kids.

Find something that applies to ALL children with autism, and we'll talk.

**Before you post something mean or stupid, just remember that a 3rd party that loves me moderates all my comments.** ha ha.

My Memories Giveaway! That's Right, I Said GIVEAWAY!

2011-05-21T00:45:00.001-07:00

I'm not a scrapbooker person.

Mostly, because I lack the patience.

And because I'm kinda lazy.

It's not that I don't want pretty scrapbook pages with my kids pics, I just don't want to do it. See the dilemma??

Now, I don't have to. Yay.

Thanks to some fabulous digital scrapbooking software, I can do it on the computer. Because, let's be real, I can't cut straight lines and I never remember to print my actual pictures, etc. I'm a mess. I confess. Hey, that rhymed.

Just look at the super cute pages I made with the photos from Miss Aly Bear turning 4.

I did these in about 5 minutes. Which is perfect for us that are super lazy, but like to pretend that we aren't.

Here's the best part!

MyMemories.com is giving away this fabulous software to 1 lucky reader.

Exciting, isn't it?

Here's what you do.

1. Click on the link in this post.
2. Come back here and leave a comment telling me which digital paper pack or layout is your favorite.

Want more chances to win? Of course you do.

For additional entries, you can:

1. Subscribe to their blog
2. Become a fan on Facebook
3. Follow them on twitter
Then just come back and tell me you did it. Make sure to leave a comment each time you enter.

Contest closes on Friday, May 27, 2011 at midnight.

Winner will be announced on Monday, May 30th.

If you don't win, don't worry. On Monday, I will post a promo code that will give you a $10 discount!

eFoods Global Food Freedom Tour

2011-05-20T12:11:00.002-07:00

Do you hate Food Storage that tastes like food storage??

Yeah, me, too.

When there is a disaster of some kind, I swear to you I will starve to death because I cannot stand the taste of some of that stuff.

That was before I heard about eFoods Global.

This stuff does NOT taste like your typical food storage or military-style MRE food. This food tastes awesome! It actually tastes GOOD.

Their mantra is: SERVE, SAVE, SHARE. You can SERVE it tonight for dinner, SAVE it for future times of need, and SHARE it with others to help them get prepared.

Maybe I won't starve after all.

Don't believe me?

eFoods is currently offering 6 FREE meals to anyone who will take their "FOOD FREEDOM TOUR". The tour is a series of 5 short videos illustrating why being prepared with food storage is important, and why eFoods is the obvious choice. The tour is located here: http://prepareandprosper.myefoodsglobal.com.

The 6 meals are FREE and customers are asked to pay $9.95 for shipping.

So, take a few minutes, watch a few videos, and discover a whole new way to be prepared.

The Real Problem With Depression... According To Tenille

2011-05-19T13:57:00.003-07:00

I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV.

However, as a long term user of anti depressants and anti anxiety medications, let me just say this...

I thought I was supposed to feel better.

I feel "different" but I am waiting for the day that I feel like me again.

I want to go back to doing the things I like to do. Not sitting around feeling like doing nothing because I don't care.

And seriously, I don't care. I used to go to the gym every day. I used to read 2 or 3 books a week.

Now, I do nothing. Because I just don't care.

I want to sleep my life away and hope that everything will be better when I wake up.

So, I ask you, what is the point of taking medications that make me sick, unable to drive, and give me the craziest dreams ever. And that is saying something because I have some seriously crazy dreams when I'm not medicated.

I just want to care again. I want to be me.

Is that so much to ask?

Never Ending...

2011-05-18T10:37:00.002-07:00

I came to a sudden and sad realization last night as I scrubbed my almost 8 year old's poop off every surface of a room for the second time that day.

This is it. This is my life. This is how it will always be. Now, before you tell me that's not true, I will remind you that there are autistic children all over that are still in diapers at age 15+. How do I know mine isn't one of them?

After I finished scrubbing his room and his sister's room, I found him emptying a bean bag chair. Upon cleaning that up, I discovered that I had not in fact found all the poop in his room.

Big picture problem here is the fact that he gets Miralax everyday and his extra squishy poop comes more often. And, apparently, he has taken a recent interest in smearing it all over the place.

Lucky me.

I also came to the realization that there are no antidepressant medications strong enough to deal with this. Maybe I am actually fine, but my life is just really that crappy. Pun intended.

It just seems that there will never be a day that I don't have to rewash a load of laundry because I find his poop in the batch AFTER it has come out of the dryer.

I will probably never go a week without having to throw away 3 or more pairs of underwear. (I should have bought stock in Hanes.)

I will never not need to buy baby wipes.

I will spare you the details of all the other issues in my life. I don't wanna drag you down too far.

I'm just sad that this is it for me. And I'm really sad because I feel like if I had known that this is what my life was going to be like, I probably would have waited to have children and spent some more time with my husband. Because, let's face it, I'm never going to be alone with him again. We will never be empty nesters.

And I feel like that makes me a bad mom. Or at least less of a mom than I should be.

**Warning** My comments are screened by a 3rd party who loves me, so if you get all mushy and say something I don't want to hear, your comment will probably not be posted.

Hunt's Canned Tomatoes are Good for You - I Hate When My Mother Is Right

2011-04-12T10:56:00.004-07:00

I am a picky eater. Way, super, drove my mother crazy, picky.

An article published in the March/April 2011 American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine titled “Tomato Consumption and Health: Emerging Benefits,” demonstrates the significant nutritional advantages of increasing tomato consumption. Emerging research underscores the relationship between consuming tomatoes and tomato products with reduced risk of certain cancers, heart disease, ultraviolet light-induced skin damage, osteoporosis, and other conditions.

Don't get me wrong. I like tomatoes. Raw ones, tomato sauce, tomato soup, whatever. Just not cooked tomato chunks. Icky. My mom always said they were better for me than the raw kind. I didn't believe her. According to this article, my mother was right.

Did you know tomatoes are good for your heart? (It’s easy to remember because they’re red.) They are low in calories, but rich in nutrients like potassium, fiber and the POWERFUL antioxidant called lycopene.

Apparently, the lycopene in canned tomatoes, like Hunt’s, is easier for your body to use than from raw tomatoes, and you get seven times more lycopene from canned tomatoes than from the raw version.

A few fun facts about Hunt's tomatoes:
- All of Hunt’s tomatoes are grown in California and are 100 percent natural.

- Hunt’s tomatoes come in lots of varieties, including No Salt Added.

- Tomatoes are a superfood!

In fact, because tomatoes are so nutritious, the new Dietary Guidelines for Americans say people should try to eat one more serving of them each day. Don't believe me? Read this.

So, in my attempt to eat better (down 35 pounds and still have a few more to shed) I altered one of my mom's age old recipes to make it even better for me using Hunt's tomatoes and my handy little mini chopper. (I'm still not eating chunks, no matter how good they are for me.)

Mom's Super Healthy Spaghetti

Cook 1 pound of the leanest hamburger you can get with 1/4 cup chopped onions. If you prefer ground turkey, that would probably work as well.

Drain the fat. (I blot mine to make sure it's all gone.)

Add 1 can of Hunt's no salt added canned tomatoes (mine are blended in my mini chopper) and tomato sauce. Liquid should equal 40-48 oz depending on how many people you are feeding and how saucy you like your pasta. If you prefer to add an additional can of non blended tomatoes, feel free.

Toss in 2 bay leaves, salt and pepper, garlic powder or salt (skip the regular salt if you use garlic salt), Italian seasoning, and oregano. I like to add a little chili powder, but I'll leave that up to you.

Mix and simmer.

Cook 1 pound of spaghetti (I like to use a whole grain or whole wheat) as directed.

Drain, stir in meat sauce and serve immediately.

Super delish and sure to please your picky eaters.

Who would you dedicate a heart healthy recipe to? Come up with something of your own or be like me and change up a fave recipe to make it a little more healthy for those that you love.

**I was compensated by Hunt's, but all opinions and the recipe are my own**

So Many Complaints/Why Don't I Drink?

2011-04-08T10:23:00.002-07:00

Oh where to begin??

On Wednesday, my respite worker and her friend (another respite worker) took their kids (my Bryon included) to the McDonald's play place.

The other respite worker explained to a woman that the kids had autism, so they don't play like typical children. (I think she was staring. I hate people who stare.)

This woman proceeds to go off about how the parents must be lazy and selfish if they need help with their kids. She also claimed that autism wasn't real and that it was just an excuse, her tax dollars are paying them, etc.

This woman was lucky I wasn't there. I would have bitch slapped her into next year.

I hate ignorance. I hate it even more when ignorant people try to shove all their "knowledge" down your throat.

This woman should spend 10 minutes dealing with my kids. Maybe she would like to pick up the $80 cost to feed 1 of my kids for 10 days because he has a special diet because of his "fake" disorder.

Item #2: dude, it costs about $80 to feed 1 of my children for about 10 days. That is kind of insane. He is eating a ton right now because he's growing, and I have to buy individually packaged things to send to school. It adds up and my husband is unemployed. Again.

Yes, that's right. He's unemployed again. I thought the economy was getting better. Not in this house.

And, oh, our government. You are going to shut down because you can't agree on how much to spend on women's health? Look, I am not interested in an abortion debate, but let's just say that the government didn't cover the cost for me to give birth to 3 babies. Or for my 2 D&Cs. Or my hysterectomy. I got to pay those bills all by myself. I just think that any politician looking to keep their job should be a little more open to negotiations because we are the ones who get screwed.

PS: if you are thinking about posting some BS about abortions like I asked you not to, please be aware that my comments are moderated by a 3rd party that loves me and doesn't want me to be upset. :)

Curse you "Tangled"

2011-04-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I kinda hate Disney right now...

Aly Bear 4 year old Pictures

2011-04-01T15:35:00.003-07:00

My sister in law Jacquilyn Avery is an amazing photographer.

Aly was squirmy and less than cooperative on picture day, but Jax still got some amazing shots.

Autism Anthem

2011-04-01T15:30:00.001-07:00

This song made me laugh and made me cry. I love it.

I Confess...

2011-04-01T15:24:00.002-07:00

I confess... I'm 30 and I got a tattoo. No, it's not my first.

In case you can't tell, it's a heart and a "B" and an open puzzle piece.

World Autism Day

2011-04-01T15:21:00.002-07:00

Every April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day (WAAD)

If you love me, you will wear blue. Because, my boys, they're pretty awesome.

What is Wrong With Me?

2011-03-28T12:40:00.002-07:00

I try not to ask myself "what's wrong with me" very often because I really don't like to think about it. And, well, because that list would take a very long time.

But, as I was hanging up clothes in my laundry room, I realized something...

Let's go back a moment. Growing up, I never really felt like I had enough "decent" clothes. Mostly because my mother and I never saw eye to eye on what qualified as "decent"

Also, because as 5th of 6 kids and 4th of 5 girls with a dad that works for the public school system, we weren't exactly rolling in it.

Apparently, I have decided to overcompensate this fact for my kids.

Exhibit A:

This is 40 (yes, forty) of my boys shirts. Please keep in mind a few things:

1. I only have 2 boys.
2. This is not all of their shirts. There are more hanging in their closet, in my closet, and more than a dozen that need to be washed.
3. Bryon will wear whatever I put him in.
4. Timothy would wear the same shorts and GREEN SHIRT every freaking day if I let him. (don't worry, I don't. much to his disappointment)

So, I ask again, what is wrong with me. My kids don't care, they don't need them, and yet, well, I keep buying them shirts.

Last time I checked there were only 7 days in a week.

I clearly have issues.

She's a con artist. And apperently, she gets it from me.

2011-03-23T10:06:00.001-07:00

I have recently discovered that my baby girl is quite the con artist.

Any time I ask her to do something, anything really, she pulls one of these:

Oh, mama, I'm so tired. (insert pretending to snore here.)

Predictably, after I do whatever I have asked her to do, and offer to take her to bed, she assures me that she is just fine. Brat.

Upon expressing my woes to my parents, I was reminded that she probably learned it from me, a legendary con artist in my own right. Apparently I pulled something very similar. At least I faked really interesting illnesses.

I hate when I'm the only one to blame...

caught!

2011-03-22T22:02:00.001-07:00

We have to separate our boys so they can go to sleep with out killing each other. Timmy is less than impressed with this tactic. He doesn't quite understand why Bryon gets to stay out while he has to go to bed first.

After being quiet for a while, Scott checked in on Timmy to see if he was asleep.

Timmy jumped out of bed and ran to the door where the following conversation took place:

Timmy: (whispering) Thanks Bryon. Where's daddy?

Scott: Hi Tim.

Timmy: (normal voice) oh. hi daddy.

Timmy runs back to bed and pulls covers over his head. :)

I love my kids.

4 Years Ago...

2011-02-22T13:54:00.001-07:00

4 years ago I spent all of February 22nd in the hospital trying to have a baby. I told everyone, yep, she'll be born on 2/22. Thursday, we're having her on Thursday.

She came out the same way she has been all her life. On her own time and in her own way.

Miss Alyson Grace Avery was born Friday, February 23, 2007 at 12:06 am.

Happy Birthday Aly-Bear.

Fresh from the oven.

My little flower girl.

Such a grown up.

My silly baby girl.

Just Walk Away

2011-02-16T10:35:00.002-07:00

I had to drop Timmy off at school yesterday because we were having a day. (Ok, HE was having a day)

I literally dragged him in and out of the car and carried him to the playground. Not easy with a 52 pound six year old.

When I finally put him down, he proceeded to kick off his shoes and run away from me. (This is the real reason I spend so many hours in the gym. The health thing is an added bonus. I really just need to catch Timmy.)

I had to wrestle him to the ground which is always fun in public. Yes, hello gawkers, nothing to see here, keep walking, you're not helping the situation.

I had one of the aides help me but she didn't have much success either. I kept putting his shoes on, he kept taking them off.

I tried to reason with him. I tried to bribe him. I even tried to negotiate with him. It was a no-go.

Finally, the teacher told Timmy that mom was leaving. I looked at her like she was crazy. She said I just needed to walk away.

I looked back once to see her continue to struggle with my child.

As I drove past, I saw that he was still throwing his fit.

How do you walk away from that? Shouldn't I be there to handle my kid? There's nothing worse than knowing that you are not helping the situation and that you need to walk away.

He's my kid. Shouldn't I know what to do? Shouldn't I be the one that knows exactly how to fix the difficult situations?

I feel a little useless sometimes.

I also feel like I need to get a really big gift for these teachers.

The First 30 Seconds

2011-02-09T10:52:00.002-07:00

Within 30 seconds of my boys being in my house after school, 2 things have happened:

1. Bryon is naked in the shower. (yes, yes I know, at least he's naked, he could be fully clothed. Shutty.)

2. Timmy has peed through is undies, shorts and usually his t-shirt. Weird, I know. The kid can pee.

Here's the problem with this. All freaking day my sweet Timmy will pee in the potty at school. He will go when asked to and will even initiate going on his own.

Now, I'm not new the world of "my kids will do almost anything for almost anyone except me," but this one is KILLING me.

Not that I mind changing his diaper. I really don't. I have accepted that as part of my life. No biggie.

I do mind the extra laundry and all the extra mopping that I have to do because of this. He won't even wait long enough for me to put him into a diaper.

I might be a little faster if I wasn't in my bathroom making sure that Bryon closed the curtain all the way and isn't flooding my bathroom. Like he usually does.

Stupid divide and conquer...

2 Questions

2011-02-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

I find that day in and day out, I am asking myself the same 2 questions.

1. Why do boys have to get completely naked when they pee?

2. Why, once they have peed and since they are naked, do they feel the need to take a shower?

I'm totally serious. Bryon does this at least 6 times a day. My water bill is enormous.

If you have the answers, please let me in the loop.

Please.

Because There's Nothing I Like Better Than Standing In The Middle Of A Parking Lot

2011-01-18T16:18:00.004-07:00

In case you missed that frazzled woman whose too loose jeans kept slipping down as she wrestled with a flailing 6 year old and was clung to by a 3 year old in the middle of the school's parking lot, that was me.

For whatever reason, Timmy decided that he was NOT going to school today. I dragged him and Aly to the car with Aly screaming that she wanted to ride in daddy's car. Not mamma's car.

Upon arriving at school, I spent about 5 minutes trying to convince Tim to put his shoes on so we could go to recess. He refused. I pleaded and I threatened, but there was no changing his mind.

I shoved his shoes and socks into his backpack and carried him. Aly was VERY upset at the idea that someone else was being carried and decided that she needed to be carried too.

I attempted to drag her along, unsuccessfully, when the 1st bell rang. They locked the gate and recess was over. After about 15 monutes in the middle of the parking lot where all the buses exit, I gave up.

Only to have Aly PISSED that she wasn't going to recess. Um, kid, you NEVER go to recess at this school. Get over it.

I dragged two screaming kids to car past the somewhat sympathetic onlookers.

Timmy's teacher even came to the car and attempted to persuade him to come inside to school. Not interested.

We came home and Timmy was sent to bed.

Unfortunately, at about 11 am, Timmy decided he was ready for school.

Let's just say it has been an eventful day and I feel like I have wrestled an alligator.

Hopefully, he has learned his lesson and will be more open to the idea of going to school from now on.

He's not exactly my biggest fan right now.

That's okay. I ate an enormous Hershey's with almonds. :)

But Do You Like Her?

2011-01-04T08:36:00.003-07:00

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary. For a girl with commitment issues, this is a pretty big deal.

I think my favorite part of my engagement/wedding was when we went to talk to my dad.

If you don't know, my dad was a junior high principal at the time. So, Scott basically was sent to the principal's office. Where he was kept waiting. In a pretty small chair.

We sat across from my dad and just kinda smiled at him.

He had one question.

"Do you like her?"

We kinda laughed and looked at him like he was crazy.

"I know you love her. But do you like her?"

I was ready to die.

Scott laughed and assured him that he did, in fact, like me.

I was more than a little embarrassed, but I didn't care. He liked me.

12 Days Of Christmas

2010-12-17T21:26:00.005-07:00

Some of you know and tried to keep track of our secret Santa. In case you missed any, here's a recap...

Day 1: Some pears from the tree the partridge was in. fresh, canned, and some candy.

Day 2: My 2 turtle doves left turtles and dove. Dove body wash, Dove chocolate, and chocolate turtles.

Day 3: 3 French hens like French fries, french toast, and French Vanilla marshmallows.

Day 4: 4 calling birds called for a Pizza

Day 5: Assorted candy rings. Lifesavers, peach, and pineapple. (more than 5)

Day 6: 6 geese laid some eggs. Sausage, and hash browns made it breakfast.

Day 7: Swans were swimming in Bubble bath. (Even spiderman for the kids.)

Day 8: My 8 maids a milking brought us white milk, chocolate milk, and cookies.

Day 9: My 9 ladies danced to a rockin' Christmas cd.

Day 10: The 10 Lords couldn't leap because they were out dancing with the 9 ladies the night before. We got their canes. Candy canes, candy filled canes, etc. My kids were in heaven.

Day 11: 11 pipers were piping on hot chocolate. With marshmallows an doughnuts of course.

Day 12: 12 drummers drummed, making a joyful noise because the Savior was born. They left us a nativity and chose to remain anonymous.

Thanks, Santa.

How Could Anyone Possibly Like Us This Much??

2010-12-17T21:13:00.002-07:00

I have somewhat made light of all the many "Santas" we have had this Christmas.

I have to because if I don't, I'll probably cry.

I am overwhelmed with the idea that anyone could possibly like us enough to do all the things that have been done for us this holiday season.

How is it possible that 2 separate people from 2 separate places would be willing to give us cash anonymously? And not just a little.

Add to that the fact that someone is very generously 12 Days of Christmasing us.

I am blown away that anyone likes us this much, much less multiple people.

We have had a really rough year. It seems like nothing has gone our way.

Anonymous people have literally saved Christmas for our kids and reminded me what is truly important at this time of year.

I only hope that one day, we can do the same for someone else.

I am not attempting to find out who is doing this or who gave us the cash, because I know, if it was me, I would want it to remain a secret.

Whoever you are, thank you. I cannot tell you what this means to us.

Love,

The Averys

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

2010-12-15T10:35:00.002-07:00

I don't eat pumpkin. So when a friend asked me for some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, I scoured my cook books and the internet. We liked this one best.

These are a tasty pumpkin, but not too pumpkiny cookies. They even have oats.

1 cup softened butter or margarine
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup quick cooking oats
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

Cream butter and sugars until fluffy.
Beat in egg and vanilla.
Combine flour, oats, baking soda, and cinnamon; stir into creamed mixture alternately with pumpkin.
Stir in chocolate chips.

Now, it says to drop by tablespoonful onto greased sheets. However, if you grease the sheets, the cookies spread and are not very pretty. I find it is better to leave them ungreased and just remove the cookies from the pan asap so they don't stick.
That's just me, feel free to do what you like.

Bake at 350 for 12-13 minutes or until browned. Cool on wire racks.

Makes @ 4 dozen.

A Day In The Life

2010-12-13T15:11:00.002-07:00

I was talking with a friend yesterday about how people always have crappy comments like:
A. When I say I am super busy I hear, "What are you busy doing all day? Aren't your kids in school?"

B. When I say I go to the gym 3-5 days a week I hear, "I wish I could go to the gym, but I have too much to do. You have time for it in your schedule."

Normally, I tell these people to suck it. Instead, I am writing this answer to the ever popular question: What Do You Do All Day If You Don't Go To Work?

Today, I:
I woke up @ 6:15.
I fed, bathed, dressed and packed lunches for 2 boys.
I dressed myself and Aly and harrassed Scott as needed to get out the door on time.
I put Bryon on the bus @ 7:10.
I then packed up Aly and proceeded to drive Timmy to school because he refuses to ride the bus.
We stopped to get gas.
Then we went to Chase bank.
Followed by Desert Schools.
Then we hit the gym. This entails a warm up on the stair master, weight lifting, 45 minutes on the elliptical, and 12 minutes of walking backwards.
Then we were off to Office Max to make copies because we are reapplying for ALTCS for Timmy.
Walmart was next because we needed baby food and some baking supplies.
Next stop: the library. Return and check out.
HOME. Finally.
Put away groceries, balance check book and start some laundry.
Clean a bathroom, fold some laundry, start some more laundry.
Check mail and realize Social Security is trying to screw me AGAIN, and start pulling together paperwork so I can go down to their office. Good times. I'd rather have a root canal.
Call pediatricians office because we had an insurance change and they are trying to bill me instead of new insurance.
Get kids off bus, go thru backpacks, deal with paperwork, etc.
Snack time!
Diaper changes as needed.
At 2:45 pm, I finally got to take a shower. As soon as I started some more laundry and made the bed.
1 clean Tenille later, I got to wash dishes. yay.

It's 3:20 pm and I still have more laundry to do, dinner to make, I have to wrap presents for the boys gift exchange at school and make all necessary preparations because my boys have a field trip tomorrow which is probably easy for typical kids, but my kids are autistic.

My day will end around 11:30 pm and start all over again tomorrow at 6:15.

So the next time you wonder what exactly I do all day, shut up so I don't have to punch you in the face.

The Rules

2010-12-08T10:38:00.002-07:00

I have "rules" for anyone that wants to come over to my house.

1. You are welcome at any time, but you have to accept the condition of my home without any snide remarks. (I am allowed to throw you out if you do)

2. You should try to bring some form of diet coke if you can.

3. If you follow rules 1 and 2, I will most likely bake you something.

4. You can stay as long as you want. If it's meal time, you can always stay and I will always feed you and/or your children.

5. There's nothing in my house your kid can break or destroy (Timmy's already done it)

6. What happens at Tenille's house, stays at Tenille's house.

Snitch

2010-12-06T12:26:00.002-07:00

Everyday, Timmy will quote things he heard at school that day.

I love that he inadvertently rats himself out.

Here are some of my favorites:

"Timmy and Brandon need time away."

"Timmy, nose picking is gross."

"Timmy, get off Mrs. BeGell's desk."

"Timmy, hands are not for hitting."

"Feet are not for kicking."

"Teeth are not for biting."
(I'm pretty sure the last 3 are books that he as to read a lot.)

Oh how the list goes on. It seems like everyday there's a new one. He is more accurate than a note home from the teacher. :)

Halloween, Birthday Fiasco, and Whatever Else I Decide To Toss In

2010-11-27T08:16:00.004-07:00

Did I show you any Halloween pictures? NO? Bad Tenille.

He wore this monkey costume that so did not fit for DAYS!
I guess lunch is more exciting in a monkey costume.

Trunk or treating with Miss Alison. (No, the baby is not mine or Alison's)

And the monkey has better places to be. :) Story of my life.

I picked up a giant cupcake for Timmy's actual birthday. He was unhappy and so it ended up on the floor...

He was unhappy the day we celebrated as well and we had to sing happy birthday to about 6 people before he was willing to let us have cake.

Drama queen.

I'm tossing in this photo because I need to remind myself that she has some sweet moments. I try to block out the 15 minutes of screaming and crying that led up to actually being put in the swing.

This, well, Bryon looks really cute here and we had a fun day at the zoo. :)

Thanksgiving Avery Style

2010-11-27T08:08:00.003-07:00

Is it really Thanksgiving without a turkey hat? No. No, it isn't.

Thankfully Scott is better than average at making fun stuff like this.

My nephew Chase. Because, really, everything is more fun with cousins.

A little basketball to work off some calories...

And, like I said, everything is more fun with cousins.

Goals

2010-11-12T18:48:00.003-07:00

I had an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting this morning for my sweet Timmy.

This was the first time in 3 years that we did not set a goal regarding eye contact.

I feel okay about this because we were defining insanity. You know, doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.

We all felt like he was doing well enough in other areas that we should focus on what is really important (math, reading, social skills).

The sad part is, I was left wondering if my baby is ever going to look me in the eye. He will glance in my direction and acknowledge my existence, but he won't actually look at me.

I kind of feel like we are accepting defeat and that he might not ever do it.

It's one of those things that most parents take for granted because they don't know any different.

I kind of envy them.

Am I Overreacting?

2010-11-08T08:30:00.002-07:00

I live in a cul-de-sac.

Parking is difficult and so my neighbors park where they can. It hasn't bothered me in the 6 years that I have lived here, and it hasn't bothered countless bus drivers over the past 3.5 years.

It does, however, bother Aly's morning bus driver.

She makes a comment every stinking day about the car that parks on my street.

She is not the first or only driver to deal with that car on any given day.

I could handle the comments. I mostly ignored her.

On Friday, she decided to be super bitchy and LAY ON HER HORN because she had to back the bus up a bit to get around the car. Deal with it. You're not the first.

When I got to the bus she was all "maybe now they know that they need to move that car."

My thought was, maybe they thought I was late and you were honking at me.

When some of my neighbors came to the door (because they were leaving, not because of the horn) she continued on with "oh good, now they know what they've done"

No, I don't think so. I think we all know that you are psycho.

I have a neighbor that works at night and sleeps all day. I am sure he appreciated your honking.

This is the same driver that made my daughter 45 minutes late to school (which only lasts 2.5 hours as it is) because she was waiting for some kid to come outside that never came outside because he was already at school. The rules are pretty clear that if your child doesn't come out within 2 minutes, the bus will leave. So why are you waiting for 30 minutes?

This is also the same driver that yelled at one of the aides at school because the kid she waited forever for lives at the back of their apartment complex and she wants them to wait at the front for her because she's not going to the back anymore.

Um, lady, how about you do your job and shut up.

So, I am already planning to have my daughter rerouted because I just do not want her on that bus anymore.

I am wondering if it's too much to file a complaint against the driver as well...

Timmy is 6

2010-11-02T00:49:00.003-07:00

6 years ago, I gave birth to one of my favorite people.

All 9 pounds 3 ounces of him.

Happy Birthday, Timmy.

Wendy's Pick 2 Take 2

2010-10-23T11:32:00.006-07:00

Okay, let's try this one again. :)

On Thursday, after sending my peeps to school, I hit up Wendys who has joined up with The Motherhood to spread the awesome news about their new Pick 2 menu.

You get to choose one of 4 half salads, (though I confess I kinda wished they offered the homestyle chicken salad, but whatever) and one of 7 other items.

So, I broadened my horizons (my husband calls me a creature of habit) and tried the apple pecan chicken salad. It came with this tasty pomegranate dressing. I didn't even know I liked pomegranate. I kinda do.

Because I am not a perfect person, I paired my salad with a Jr Bacon cheeseburger. Don't judge me, I could have ordered a frosty. :)

Best part, it's only $4.99. What a steal. Seems like nothing is $4.99 anymore.

Needless to say, I'll be back. And next time, I'll ask for no blue cheese (not my fav, but kudos to Wendy's for using quality ingredients in a fast food salad) and be a better person and not order the cheeseburger.

Maybe.

Probably not.

Let's be real, I like Wendy's cheeseburgers.

**I was compensated by Wendy's and The Motherhood, but all opinions are my own.**

It's Things Like This That Make All The Other Crap I Deal With Worthwhile

2010-10-18T19:09:00.002-07:00

My boys go to the same school. Not uncommon. Their classes do a lot of things together, but they have never acknowledged the other at school.

Also, the only time they touch, is to do harm.

That being said...

I'll condense this the best I can.

Bryon's bus was late and he was certain that a different bus with a substitute driver was his. He was determined to get on this bus. His teachers did not let him, and a meltdown ensued.

Meanwhile, across campus...

Timmy ran out of his classroom in an attempt to take off. Apparently he does that a lot. His teacher called him back reminding him that he was line leader and that she would not give him his "#2 pipe cleaner" (he can shape a pipe cleaner into any number or letter. It's crazy.)until he led the class to the bus stop.

Upon arrival at the stop, the teacher returned the pipe cleaner. A very sad Bryon scooted over to Timmy and laid his head on his shoulder. Teacher thought Bry was trying to steal the pipe cleaner until she saw his sad little face.

Timmy put his arm around Bryon in an attempt to console him and said, "Pipe cleaner for Bryon." He handed over the extra special pipe cleaner and kept his arm around his brother until the right bus came and they were able to get on.

I wish I was there and all the teachers wished they had a camera.

I knew they loved each other...

His Name is Timmy and All Letters Belong to Him

2010-10-15T16:53:00.002-07:00

All I can say is, thank heaven fall break is almost over.

Timmy loves letters. He thinks they all belong to him.

Which, normally is fine.

Not today...

I had this super cute vinyl saying in my kitchen. It USED to say, "A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen."

It now says:

Of course the only letters he was interested in were those involved in spelling his name. Hence the "an tim he"

Whatever. He goes back to school on Monday and I know my cute friend Marni will help me out with some new vinyl. :)

I'm 30

2010-10-07T19:20:00.002-07:00

Yeah, so Saturday is my birthday. I'm going to be 30.

Now, here's the deal...

Everyone says, "oh 30, that's nothing. I'm going to be (fill in the blank)"

That's nice. But I think you are forgetting what it was like to turn 30. I'll bet it was hard.

It's hard. It really is. I am no longer a 20 something. You can say 20 something and still feel 22 when you are really 29 1/2.

30 is 30. I will reassure people that I am only 30 and not "thirty something." (wasn't that a tv show or something? anyway, it's beside the point.)

The point is, I guess since I have a 7 year old and wasn't a 14 year old mother, I better be 30.

Maybe now people will take me seriously. It's hard to talk about adult topics like autism and treatments and therapies and IEPs, etc and have people look at you like, "ok, who is really making this decision because it better not be this little girl."
To be fair, I think the same thing. Only more like "who the hell put me in charge of this?"

Anyway... after a nice chat with a friend of mine, I have decided to embrace where I am in life. There's no point looking back because you can't do anything to change it and it's no use to try to predict the future because you can't.

So, this is me, hoping for the best and trying not to think about all the kids that started college this fall and were in 1st grade when I graduated from high school.

I Love When People "Get It"

2010-10-06T08:47:00.002-07:00

I have lost count of how many times this has happened to me, but it happened twice on Monday.

Most of the time, when older people see your kids being bratty or sad in a store they stare or shake their heads or you overhear that loudly whispered "When my kids were young..." or "I never allowed..."

You know what I am talking about.

So imagine my surprise when, while holding a sad, wiggling child, older ladies (one was probably 70 something and the other at least in her 60's) approached and started helping me unload my cart.

1st at WalMart and again at Costco. I turn around and there they are with a sweet smile and an explanation of, "I've been there before."

It absolutely made my day.

I love when these ladies remember what being a mother of young kids is "actually" like.

I know people say hind sight is 20/20, but it's more like 60/40. People only remember what they want to remember and how they want to remember it.

It was so nice to come across people who remember what it is really like.

I Hate When My Sense of Responsibility Keeps Me From Taking a Nap

2010-10-01T12:12:00.001-07:00

I have had a few very long nights.

So this morning, when I decided first that I wasn't going to the gym so I could get some stuff done, I was ready.

Then I decided that since I did that yesterday, I should be allowed to take a nap today.

However, because I don't want to be deemed "lazy", I decided that as long as I was laying down, the washer and the dishwasher could be running as well.

10 minutes. I would work for 10 minutes and then be done.

After my 10 minutes, I decided that I really did have too much to do and the weekend is already going to be crazy and I really should get my stuff done today.

Long story short, I did not take a nap and Aly gets home in 10 minutes.

I hate being responsible.

Oh, What a Night

2010-09-30T08:17:00.002-07:00

I remember laying in bed last night. That's about as far as I got.

I lay awake talking to my husband about all the stress I am dealing with right now and how I feel ridiculously close to a nervous breakdown. I need more sleep, I tell him.

Then, at 12:30, Aly started to cry. I let her come into our bed.

Ever try to "sleep" with a 3 year old in your bed? Yeah, you can't. Mommy somehow gets shoved to the very edge while the 3 year old expands into what is surely triple her size. And diagonal.

I think I got some sleep. Not a lot though because the boys were fighting at 2.

I tried to break it up. No go. So I set up a movie. That lasted about 5 seconds.

Moved Aly to her own bed and Timmy into my bed. What's worse than a 3 year old in your bed? A 5 year old.

That only lasted about and hour. Come @ 3:30 am, Scott and Timmy went to lay in Timmy's bed. A twin. Scott is 6'4".

When the alarm went off at 6:25, I went to check on all my babies.

They were passed out. So, I decided to let them sleep. I canceled the bus and was prepared to let them stay home today.

Bryon woke up at 6:45. I hauled him into bed with me. All knees and elbows. Ouch.

At 7, I got up with Bryon and started to get him ready for school.

Bryon is the easy one.

Timmy had a major meltdown.

Long story short, I got to drive my kids to school this morning.

The same school.

Individually.

Dress Code

2010-09-23T12:50:00.003-07:00

I really didn't know what to title this post, so whatever.

Here's the thing...

I'm a stay at home mom. Here's what my schedule is like.

Up at 6:30.

Feed, shower, dress, pack lunches for 2 boys who get on a bus at 7:15.

If it is a Monday or Wednesday, Aly and I hit the gym at 8 am.

If it's a Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday, I get Aly up and dressed and ready to put her on a bus at 9:10.

Then I head to the gym. That's right, I go to the gym 5 days a week. I am that awesome.

The rest of my day is consumed with laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, computer work, cleaning bathrooms, etc. You get the idea. You probably do a lot of this crap yourself.

Is it wrong of me to wear workout/pajama pants every day?

Don't get me wrong, I wear "real" clothes when I need to.

Jeans just are not the most comfortable thing to wear when cooking, cleaning, and wrestling and angry 5 year old.

I am typing this post with wet hair wearing a yellow v-neck and black "lounge" pants. Not exactly workout, not exactly jammies.

I think people think that I am lazy or just don't care anymore when they see my attire.

Lazy? Really? I ran the dishwasher, washed 2 loads of clothes, put away 2 loads of laundry, ran 3 miles and did an hour of indexing today. It's 1:00. That does not a lazy person make.

Seriously.

I shouldn't be judged by what I wear.

Frustrating

2010-09-09T08:42:00.002-07:00

I feel for the parents in this video. I know how they feel and how hard it is to raise these kids.

I just hate the way they treat autism like it's a death sentence. They spend thousands of dollars a year on medications and therapies to "fix" their child.

Maybe I'm not as good a parent as these people because I don't let autism overwhelm my life. Maybe I take it too lightly.

I guess I am one of those people that is "throwing these kids away." I am not out to try every new therapy and medication that comes out that will make them batter.

I accept my children as they are and don't see them as broken.

Maybe I'm wrong, but we're happy.

Stop. It's Not That Hard to Understand

2010-09-03T09:30:00.002-07:00

I have special ed kids that ride a special ed bus. All school buses come with these handy little signs attached to them.

I don't care if you can't read, or are color blind, or whatever. You know what this sign means. It's not hard.

Because my kids are "special handling", my school bus pulls up to my house. It stops, the door opens, and the little stop sign pops out.

Now, when I see one, I, I don't know, stop. It's not rocket science.

I live in a cul-de-sac. There is one neighbor that is unaffected by my buses. The other 3 seem to think that this sign does not apply to them.

Have you met my kids? Have you seen them run haphazardly into the street in their excitement to get on the bus?

Do you get that my autistic kids to not understand that cars can do more than just offer a fun ride?

If the sign says stop, you stop. That's all. End of story. Did you know it's a law? Did you know that if a cop saw you do that you'd get pulled over?

Did you also know that if you ever hit one of my kids I will sue your pants off so fast your head would swim? Please don't delude yourself into thinking that I am a nice enough person to let that slide.

I'm not.

I think I need to move.

This Probably Makes Me Small and Petty. I Don't Care

2010-08-27T15:05:00.002-07:00

This happens to me a lot. I mean a lot. I may have even blogged about it before.

Oh, well. Here I go again.

This happens with baby food and diapers, but today, it was the diapers that caused it, so that's what I'll bitch about.

*Puts diapers in cart*

"How old is your baby?"

"Oh, um, well, she's 3."

"You have a 3 year old that's not potty trained?" (Insert smug smile here)

(Insert me deciding to screw with this person here)

"Yes. None of my 3 kids are potty trained"

*Smile gets bigger* (for the record, this person could not possibly have kids. Trust me, you can tell with some people)

"How old are your other kids?"

"My boys are 5 and 7."

"Reeeaaaalllly?" *that smile could not possibly get any bigger*

"Yes. But, then again, you know, autistic boys generally aren't potty trained until between the ages of 6 and 8."

*smile fades a bit*

"Autistic?"

"Yes. And my daughter has a severe speech delay which doesn't really help with the whole communication process."

"oh. um,*big swallow* (the smile is gone by now) is it hard to have 2 autistic boys?"

"I don't know. It's all I've ever known. But they are pretty great. and really sweet."

I take great pleasure in making people feel about this big. :)

If I were a better person, I wouldn't do it. But, well, you know who we're talking about here.

I will confess that I do not do this to those that offer any type of sympathy or understanding.

But, you know, people with no kids know EVERYTHING about being a parent. Don't they?

Yes, I am a Slacker. This is not new information

2010-08-26T11:27:00.002-07:00

I am aware that I haven't blogged in a while. I've been busy.

Doing what, you might ask?

Well, for starters, I have run 31.23 miles since the kids have gone back to school. Yes, I know this isn't a lot for some people, but I am chubby so this is an amazing feat. Don't you steal my thunder, people.

Beyond that, well, I admit to some laziness. Though what's lazy about getting up at 6:30 am to get 2 kids (one of which is very reluctant) ready for school each day, and a girl baby that WILL NOT let me touch her hair ready for school 3 days a week, hitting the gym almost every day, plus all the usual laundry and feeding people, I'll never know.

Rest assured that if something interesting happens, you will be the first to know.

Like if my DDD case coordinator (who is totally new because my old one moved to Brazil?? without telling me) gets her act together and we actually get the speaking machine for Bryon that we started the paperwork on 6 months ago or we get the pediasure delivery organized so that my 4'5" 7 year old can stop losing weight (he's down to 48 pounds)or we get some services for my Timmy, I'll let you know.

And if the constant dripping/running water from the plethora of plumbing issues in my home finally drives me insane or forces me to resort to violence, look for me on the news. Either my arrest or my obituary. :) "poor crazy mother of 3 finally snapped, and boy was it a doozy..."

And on that pleasant note... I have laundry to do and lunch to make for the girl.

People Need to Quit Moving Away From Me

2010-08-15T11:46:00.003-07:00

Generally, when people get married, they marry into a family dynamic worthy of a sit com.

I am no exception.

Thankfully, I am also fortunate to have found a really great someone in this crazy family I married into.

This is Anne and her 4 sweet peeps. (she has a husband, but he's not important to this story. sorry Kris)

Anne is one of those people that when I introduce her, I introduce her has my friend and not "my husband's cousin". Because she is more than that to me. A lot more.

We've been friends for years. Since before our sweet babies were this big.

Aren't they cute? Bryon loves his Ethan.

Anne and I have one of those relaxed, laid back, easy relationships. It is effortless to be her friend.

We have shared some really good times together. Book clubs, family reunions, birthday parties, whatever.

Now, for some stange reason, they are moving to Texas. Sadness.

All my friends keep moving away from me. First Caroline, and now Anne.

Now if you still live here don't get all bent out of shape, I still like you.

But it will be really weird to not invite the Koellners to birthday parties and to not run into them in Bath and Body Works at Tempe Marketplace. It's the little things like that that really suck.

But, sadly, I get why they are moving and it's gonna be good for them and blah blah blah.

I'll still miss my friend.

Safe travels Koellners. Come back to visit please.

First Days

2010-08-13T15:10:00.003-07:00

My sweet peeps 1st days at school...

He looks up to something...

Bryon charges the bus

Followed by Timmy

Happy boys

The princess goes back to school.

Amazing Jakes Is, Well, Amazing

2010-08-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

One of our reunion days was spent at Amazing Jakes.

A fantastic place for "typical" kids.

If your kids are not "typical" it means you spend a lot of time on the train and the carousel. Let me just say that Bryon had a blast. Mommy was a little dizzy, but what can you do.

It took a few trips up and down before Bry decided that he liked the carousel. After that, there was no stopping him.

Major shoutout to Miss Alison who actually got paid to come to Amazing Jakes with us. I have to do it for free. :)

Timmy was being a little pooper, so Scott took him home early. He was in a much better mood after a 3 1/2 hour nap. Then again, who isn't?

Aly and I played some mini skeeball. She had a good time reaching up to put her ball in the highest point hole. :)

We Are A Happy Family... Mostly

2010-08-09T19:35:00.004-07:00

Last week was the Crisp Family Reunion. We haven't all been together in a while. We always seem to be missing someone.

Not this time.

Here are a few pics of my peeps enjoying "so many cousins"

Yes, yes, I know. My boys + golf clubs does not = safe. No major casualties. I promise.

Aly loved her cousin Alexis. Fun cousins + a pool pretty much guarantees heaven for my children.

The Break Up

2010-07-28T00:58:00.000-07:00

I have always been a Lysol girl when it came to scrubbing my bathtubs. I had every cleaner on the planet. Mold and mildew, 4 in 1 bathroom cleaner, whatever. You name it, I had it if Lysol's name was on the front.

No more.

I am in love with someone new.

He does his job and doesn't make me want to fall over and die from the odor.

Sorry Lysol. It's been fun. Scrubbing Bubbles, you're next.

Very Good

2010-07-27T09:49:00.002-07:00

Aly's speech, while somewhat imporved, is still well below that of a typical 3 year old.

With the exception of a few phrases.

Everyday we play the "what is she saying/asking for game?"

I am usually successful, but it can sometimes take a while to figure out what she is saying.

When this happens, and I finally, finally guess what she is saying, she will reward me by telling me in her clear and precise words, in a very condescending tone

"Very good, mama."

I Just Don't Understand. Can Someone Please Explain This to Me?

2010-07-23T17:49:00.002-07:00

If someone assaulted me, harmed me, or was in general mean to me, and they were then caught, tried, convicted, and sentenced, would I then go and let them out of jail?

NO! No, I would not. Because it doesn't make any sense.

None at all.

So then why, for the love of all that is holy, does this happen in my house...

Aly: *scream*

Timmy: No, Aly. Gimme that. Right now. *smack*

Aly: *scream*

Me: Timmy, no. get away from your sister.

Aly: *continues to cry*

Me: Timmy, you need time out. Let's go. You can sit in your room for 5 minutes. Mommy will come and get you.

About 30 seconds later, I hear this:

Aly: *opens door* Hi TT. *giggle* *squeal*

2 pairs of feet running up the hallway.

Followed by:

Aly: *scream, sob*

Then hit the repeat button about 1500 times and you have my day.

I don't understand it. He hits her. He gets punished. Why does she go back for more? I cannot wrap my head around this.

I probably don't need to mention the fact that this is Driving Me Crazy!

The Rules of Naked

2010-07-22T10:47:00.002-07:00

Apparently, there are rules about when it is appropriate to be naked.

My children were kind enough to inform me. They are also introducing me to the behaviors that they interpret as an invitation to nakedness.

Timmy was streaking this morning and so I offered him a tubby.

The other 2 heard the water running and ran up the hallway stripping.

Running water = naked. (They even do this when the kitchen faucet runs. You should see the looks of disappointment)

After the tub, I dried and dressed 3 little peeps.

Upon seeing the clothes, my children assumed that we were going somewhere. When I informed them that we were, in fact, not going anywhere, thay started to take their clothes off.

We are now dressed in just diapers and undies because, well, if we aren't going anywhere, we shouldn't have to wear pants. (who knew)

I have also recently learned that if Timmy goes to his room, whether for time out or bed, he perceives that as an invitation to strip down completely and allow himself to breathe.

Angry tantrums are also an appropriate time to be naked. I guess they don't want to get their clothes dirty while they roll around screaming and crying.

Basically, my kids think that clothes are overrated and thet unless we are going for a ride in the car, clothes are unnecassary.

They get it from their dad. I am a big fan of pants.

Sesame Street is the Ruler I Use to Judge People. Seriously.

2010-07-21T08:40:00.002-07:00

I have recently realized that I like people more when they appear on Sesame Street.

I am not even kidding.

Because, here's the thing:

A: they asked you to be on an incredibly popular kids show

B: you accepted

I am sure that there are many people that have been asked that have declined. Well, all the more reason to not like you.

I especially enjoy people that really get into it.

One of my favorite bits is the Tina Fey pirate sketch. Hilarious.

I find that I will listen to the music of/watch the TV shows of people that have appeared on SS because in my mind, thay are good people.

Yep. I'm weird.

Watch Tina Fey and the booketeers here.

Random Laundry

2010-07-19T13:08:00.002-07:00

I sort my laundry. Like, really, really sort my laundry.

Whites. Colors. Sheets. Towels. The Boy's clothes. Aly's clothes. (yes, I even used baby soap.)

Some have called me a "gucci mom". You know who you are.

See, it's not because I am anal. I'm not.

What I am, is lazy.

Allow me to explain.

If I pre-sort my laundry, then I know for a fact that all the laundry in that load is going to the same place. I need less space to do my folding, and fewer piles to put away in the end.

In my head, this makes sense. I do the same thing with my silverware in the dishwasher, but that's probably a whole other post.

I will, on occasion, do a load we refer to as "random laundry."

This is an emergency clean up/someone needs something situation. It is the only time that my washer will hold any assortment of towels, t-shirts, jeans, and the occasional pillowcase.

Folding this laundry drives me crazy. There's just a little of this and one of that. Makes me crazy. As previously established, I am already crazy.

Am I alone? I sure hope not, but I think that possibly, I am. And that's probably okay.

PS: Aly's clothes go on pink or white hangers while the boys go on various shades of blue. Please don't put a pink dress on a blue hanger. It's wrong.

Seven

2010-07-18T00:01:00.002-07:00

Seven years ago today I gave birth to the most amazing little boy.

He completely changed my life.

Happy Birthday, Bryon.

I love you.

Mommy

fresh from the oven

finally holding him after coming off the oxygen hood
2 days old

Not Okay

2010-07-14T15:48:00.003-07:00

I thought when my husband got a job again, everything would be okay. I wouldn't have to stress about money and we could just go back to normal.

For 6 months, I told myself that as soon as he got a job, I would be okay.

I'm not.

Not by a long shot.

Apparently, all his getting a job did was pop the cork on all the other issues that I had tucked away so I could focus on the unemployed brokeness that was our life.

I can't even pin point the "one main thing" that is bothering me.

It's everything. All the time.

I am suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and sadness. More like despair really.

It floods me. I am drowning and don't know where to look for my life boat.

Now I am pinning all my "happiness" on the first day of school.

"As soon as school starts, I'll be better. Things will be fine."

I can only hope.

Snow!

2010-07-12T11:44:00.002-07:00

What? You mean that's NOT snow?

It's the guts of my couch cushion?

Crap. Why would they do such a thing?

Oh, right. Because they can.

Reason enough in this house.

Is it any wonder why I am crazy??

Things That Really, Really Piss Me Off

2010-07-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

I am not even going to pretend that I am ok with the following statement, because I am not.

I am so not.

This is me seething with anger.

A friend on facebook "likes" this status from another autism mom on facebook:

"So sad to see so many say Autism cant be cured, without them even trying! Anything caused by the environment CAN be cured! Epidemics are NOT caused by Genes but by environment. Autism is at epidemic rates. I challenge anyone to show me an epidemic, in the history of the world, caused by genes! - you wont find one because it has never happen and never will! The sooner everyone realises that, the better!"

Where shall I begin? I should probably write this at a time when I am not enraged, but since when have I been a sensible kind of girl? Never. That's when.

Autism is not caused by the "environment"

I do not feel that autism is an "epidemic"

I am not interested in a cure. No matter the cost.

I'm sorry, but is she comparing autism to things like the plague? Really?

Wow. Just wow.

It's times like this that I am glad I am "one of those autism moms." You know, the ones that ruin everything by saying that they are ok with their kid being autistic or that they don't need a cure or that they don't think vaccines caused autism or the one that isn't on "the diet".

Rest assured that I will never compare autism to the plague or any other "epidemic" that wiped out entire villages with painful, horrifying deaths that left women widows and children orphans.

My kids are not dying. They learn differently and they behave differently.

The End

Why Do I Bother?

2010-07-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

Every time I give my kids a bath, they flood the place. (If you are thinking, well, Tenille, just take away anything they can bail(bale?) water with, I will tell you to shut up because don't you think I have thought of that already? idiots.)

Seriously.

It's not cute. Or funny. Regardless of what they think.

And yet, every time I wash and dry and replace the poor little bath mats that get drenched at each bathing. Every. Freaking. Time.

If I understand it correctly, the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting different results. (this explains a lot regarding childbirth, but that's another post)

Therefore, in an attempt to reclaim what is left of my sanity, and there is precious little, I assure you, I am going on a bath mat strike.

No more will I wash and replace the bath mats in my childrens bathroom.

They look pretty bad from all the washings anyway and I hate to think of purchasing new ones only to subject them to this life of dreadful abuse. They deserve better. (see, I'm crazy)

So, if you happen to be fortunate enough to visit me in my home, *snicker* you have been warned. There are no rugs in my hall bathroom. And you know why, so don't ask.

That is all.

My New Life/I Swear I'm Not a Bad Mom

2010-07-09T01:34:00.000-07:00

In 5 short weeks, I will have 2 kids in school all day. Bryon will head to 2nd grade and Timmy will start all day kindergarten.

Miss Aly will continue preschool 3 mornings a week, just at a different school that's further away which means a longer bus ride. (hello run on sentence)

This means that 3 days a week for about 3 1/2 hours, I will have ZERO children in my house.

I swear I am not a bad mom. I will, of course, be sad to see my Timmy gone all day. I will, of course, miss him.

However...

I am not the anal, structure happy mother that my kids seem to require. I am more of a roll with the punches, last minute decision kind of girl.

Don't get me wrong. I like my lists. I like plans. I just can't plan my day in 15 minute increments.

Timmy is going to blossom and thrive in all day kindergarten. I can't bring myself to cry about this. I'm not sad. He needs it. He will love the structure provided. He craves that kind of stuff.

Bryon has done well in all day school for the last 2 years, and I know he prefers school to hanging out at home all day.

Aly went to preschool for half of last year. She loves it, and it's only a 2 1/2 hour program. Her speech has improved 100 times over from that one semester of school. I cannot wait to see what happens in a whole school year.

What will I do?

Well, 3 days a week I'll put miss Aly on her bus and go to the gym. I will run on my elliptical for a full, glorious hour. Then I will do some weight training.

When I get home, I will sweep and mop my floor in broad daylight. With no risk of someone walking through my dirt pile or running across a wet floor.

I will make beds and fold laundry without someone knocking over the clean piles.

I will load the dishwasher without someone sitting on the door.

I might even run errands alone.

Shocking, yes, I know.

The other 2 days, I will take Aly and exercise as long as she will allow me. Then maybe we can have a little girl time. Maybe take a nap together. That would be nice.

Don't expect me to tweet or change my Facebook status to reflect how sad I am for the first day of school.

I'm not.

And it doesn't make me a bad mom.

Confessions of an Addict

2010-07-08T02:23:00.000-07:00

I have what you would call an addictive personality.

When I was a smoker, it was a pack a day. No less.

I always jump in with both feet.

I no longer smoke or drink or abuse drugs (illegal or prescription), and I am trying to lose weight, so food is out.

I found another addiction.

You wouldn't think that books could be an addiction, or even a bad one. What's so wrong with reading?

Well, as much as I love Barnes and Noble, they aren't cheap.

These aren't even all of them. I have given away 100+ and my sister is currently borrowing a bunch.

Do the math. At a minimum of $8.00 a paperback, that's a lot of money.

I always claimed that I was low maintenance and that I didn't make any demands of my husband. He reminded me of the "library" in my laundry room.

Brokeness has helped some, but now I am a library junkie.

I spend time in B&N and online at amazon.com looking for books to get from the library. I am constantly there returning, checking out, or looking for new books.

Then I spend all my time reading.

Not a big deal until you realize that I have 3 children and I read a novel each day.

oops.

Stunt Driver

2010-07-07T04:49:00.001-07:00

Let's be real. Hollywood stunt drivers are pretty cool. They do neat-o things with their cars blah blah blah. Have you ever noticed how often they crash?

Take mothers for example. Well, mostly just me, but maybe you have mad skills too.

Today, I cruised along at 72 miles an hour while dispensing french fries, chickens, ice cream cones and diet coke. (yep, I order diet coke for everyone. I was sick of wasting drinks because the kids ignored theirs and drank mine.)

I handled spills, drips, fights, and managed to keep everyone in their seats with their seat belts on whilst trying to pick up my daughters sunglasses with my toes. Yep, I'm that good.

I even was able to do all the actions to their preschool songs.

And, I would like to throw out that I did not crash into anything. Accident free since 2000. (I don't get speeding tickets either. or photo radar. Can you feel my awesomeness?)

So the next time you see an "awesome" stunt in a movie, ask yourself, how much stuff in under that guys feet? Are there kids in the car? Is anyone trying to eat something?

No?

He's not as awesome as Tenille.

Conversations About Oatmeal

2010-07-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

There are some conversations that you would never in a million years think you would have with your children.

Like, could you ever imagine telling your child that, no, they cannot have any oatmeal? No? Well...

Bryon doesn't have a very diverse diet.

He eats oatmeal, Stage 3 Gerber Turkey Rice and Vegetable, Vegetable Chicken, or Vegetable Turkey, pudding, and yogurt. As long as it's not fruit on the bottom. He hates that.

Now, I have no real problems with oatmeal. Not my thing, but hey, whatever.

My problem is when my 6 year old has a desire to power through an entire box in one day.

Seriously.

He eats 2 packets at a time, and some days, if it were up to him, it's all he would eat. All. Day.

Our conversations go something like this:

Me: "Bryon, do you want chicken or turkey for lunch?"

Bryon: "Oatmeal."

Me: "No, Bry. Chicken or Turkey?"

Bryon: "Turkey or Oatmeal? Oatmeal. Ok."

Now your natural thoughts are:

1. Aw, that's so cute.

2. Gee, Tenille, just let the kid eat oatmeal.

Here's the thing. It is very, very cute. It's pretty darling. Especially since conversations with Bryon are few and far between.

However: 10 packets of oatmeal in one day will do one of two things. Either stop him up like nobody's business, or, if it happens to be "high fiber" oatmeal, well, I don't think I have to tell you.

If you wanna clean up the aftermath of all that, you're welcome to. :)

Wrapped Around Her Little Finger

2010-07-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

I probably don't need to caption these. Let's just say that Miss Aly Bear has her Uncle Justin or "Booper" wrapped securely around her little finger.

They are both fine with it.

A Little Bryon in a Very BIG Space

2010-07-04T00:43:00.000-07:00

I confess that if I had been on this trip, I would have been panicked about all the space my Bryon had to get lost in.

He looks lost in thought about where he should go.

Maybe because there's so much to choose from.

He looks so small. :)

Canoeing

2010-07-03T00:34:00.000-07:00

I love that most everywhere we go, people are so, so good to my Bryon. This trip was no exception.

My cousins have some fantastic kids.

I don't know many 12 and 13 year olds that are willing to canoe around a lake with a 6 year old.

Bryon had a blast! Thank you Kameron and Logan!

There's Two!

2010-07-02T09:26:00.004-07:00

My husband made an interesting discovery at this family reunion.

Meet: Alyson Avery and... Alyson Avery.

Yep. There's two of them.

Big Hugs!

Shower Fun!

Tickles!

They even have the same haircut.

True to form, my Aly wouldn't let anyone do her hair. Except for the other Aly's mom. She still took it out 20 minutes later, but if Aly was getting her hair done, my Aly wanted in on the action.

Thankfully in the pics, my Aly is no longer crying over the fact that she had to cover her pretty "kink" dress with a "bue" shirt.

I Can't Believe I missed It!

2010-07-01T21:15:00.002-07:00

My sweet husband took Bryon and Aly on a trip to St George, Utah for an Avery Family Reunion this week.

Brave, I know.

Timmy and I stayed home because he had summer school. (I maybe had a premiere of Eclipse, but the MAIN reason was summer school. I swear.)

While on this trip, my Bryon apparently met someone who speaks his language.

My father in law has a cousin with a 22 year old son who has cerebral palsy. He has minimal speech and is in a wheel chair.

We have been working hard with my Bryon over the last few years to get him to actively engage with other people. He is very tolerant of parallel play, but will not attempt to initiate in an activity. Especially with a stranger.

Or so I thought...

The moment this family arrived, Bryon was at attention and made a beeline for his cousin.

He was so happy.

He gave him a hug. A perfect stranger. And he gave him a freaking hug. It's a miracle.

When his parents took him out of his chair, Bryon sat right down by him. His cousin rocked, Bryon flapped his hands, and they made their various happy noises.

Bryon even took a ride in the wheelchair.

It's amazing. I am a little bummed that after 6 years of trying to get him to initiate in play with peers, he did it with zero prompts, and I missed it.

Oh, well.

Things That Make Me Happy

2010-06-29T08:42:00.002-07:00

PBS has a show called Peep and the Big Wide World.

It's darling. Seriously.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't turn it on every morning. Mostly for me, but the kiddos like it too.

Here's why:

His name is Quack and he is a "duck". I use quotes because that looks like no duck I have ever seen.

Despite that fact, he is HI-larious.

He thinks ducks are some kind of superior life form. He sings all kinds of songs about ducks and apparently, they can do everything.

He makes me laugh.

3 Years/It's Just a Stupid Sock

2010-06-27T07:44:00.002-07:00

So, here's the thing. Today is the 3rd anniversary of my hysterectomy. I really thought that I was going to be a little better this year.

I've been blogging a lot about it and feel like I have let go of a lot of grief and frustrations.

This year was going to be better.

Yesterday, I found this.

This stupid pink sock made me cry. I cried every time I thought about the stupid pink sock.

I cried for the little girl that would never wear it.

I cried because I would never have a little boy so I could wish the sock was blue so he could wear it.

This adorable, yet hateful sock will never have a purpose in my home. I will never again have any use for it.

That sucks.

Just A Desk

2010-06-26T12:41:00.003-07:00

My brother and sister in law gave us a desk they no longer needed.

This is it.

See, no big deal, just your average desk. No real trouble could happen involving this desk, right?

Have you met my kids?

Now, I know it looks innocent, that cute hippo and darling frog just hanging out perched on top like that.

Too bad when I first saw it this morning, 2 of my children were in those chairs.

Good times.

Because, you know, we like broken femurs.

My Purse

2010-06-26T09:21:00.002-07:00

Yes, yes. I am actually writing a post about my purse.

Here's the thing. Remember that little conference I went to called CBC10? Well, my super awesome best friend let me have a bag that was donated by Handbag Heaven.

I am in love. This thing is enormous. I can fit all my diapers, pipe cleaners, books, and other random crap that you need as a mom. It is delightful.

I have been getting a lot of questions and compliments on it, so here's where to find my bag.

Click here. Yes, right here. This will take you to my bag. Seriously. Try it.

Things That Piss Me Off...

2010-06-23T08:53:00.003-07:00

There are a lot of things that make me mad. This may have to be a regular segemnt on my blog...

This was the status of a FB friend last week. She has 2 autistic children.

Fact(s) of the Day:
More children will be diagnosed with Autism this year than cancer,
diabetes, Down's Syndrome and AIDS combined. Autism receives less than
5% of the research funding allocated to US childhood disorders.

This is a true statement. However...

Do NOT lump autism in with cancer. Or AIDS. Are you serious?? Diabetes?

Among "childhood disorders" I cannot honestly say that I feel autism is on a level with cancer.

As a mother of 2 autistic children, I can tell you that I would sooner donate my money to pediatric cancer than autism.

Does autism need research? Sure. Is it killing children? No.

I do not have to fear autism taking my childs life.
I do not have to watch my child waste away from some hideous, horrible disease.
My sons are not living in a hospital for treatment.
They are not in constant pain.

They learn differently.
They need speech therapy.
They get overstimulated very easily.

They will not die because of it.

Why I Hate Jenny McCarthy

2010-06-18T12:57:00.003-07:00

Here's the thing. I don't really "hate" her hate her...

I appreciate everything she has done for bringing awareness to autism. That's great. It was necessary.

However...

At this stage of the game, I feel like she is just pushing her own agenda. She has decided that she knows what causes autism and how to "cure" it.

Here's an FYI. Autism is NOT a gut disorder. If a special diet can "cure" autism, then you didn't actually have autism. You have an allergy.

I wish I could say I knew what caused autism, but I can't. Because nobody knows. Do you have any idea how many different theories there are regarding the causes of autism?

To my understanding, autism is a neurological disorder.

If it was a gut issue, then all children would be "cured" by this diet.

Well, what do you do when said diet is not effective for your 2, count them 2, autistic children?

People think it might be caused by an over abundance of metals in the body. (The whole autism is caused by vaccines theory, which for the record, I don't buy into) Well, sorry. Not an issue here.

Researchers think there is a genetic defect with a particular chromosome. What about those kids whose genetic testing came back 100% clear?

What about those kids who were born autistic? Nobody ever mentions them. It's all about triggers and blame.

My children were born this way. My Bryon has never looked me in the eye. (eye contact is so overrated in the Avery household)

Where is my advocate? Who is there for my children? Who will speak for the children who have zero medical causes for their autism?

I wish she could be an advocate for ALL autistic children instead of crusading for only one side.

It's Not Funny

2010-06-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

Let's just get all my anger out in one week, shall we??

I make a LOT of jokes about not having a period. I mean, a lot.

What else am I supposed to do? No period = NO Baby.

I am allowed to makes jokes about this.

Why? Because I lost my uterus at 26. That's why. I deserve to not have a period. I have earned the right to not have to suffer through that anymore.

When I make jokes about how I don't have a period and you do, the appropriate response is NEVER, under ANY circumstance:

"Well, I can have a baby."

The Worst Question Ever

2010-06-16T00:45:00.000-07:00

I get asked a lot if I am going to have anymore children.

My answer is always no, because, well, I've had a hysterectomy and all.

People usually say something along the lines of "well, you never know..."

Yeah. I do. This is usually the part where I totally embarrass them and mention the whole, "I don't have a uterus anymore thanks for reminding me of that very sad thing." (But only if they really push the issue)

The other possible follow up is, "Is it because you're afraid that another baby will have autism?"

Um, no. Can I smack you now?

They always seem to use the word "afraid."

I am not afraid of autism. That would just be stupid. There is nothing wrong with my children. I adore them just as they are. As does almost everyone that meets them.

Would I have more kids if I could? I have no idea. Because that isn't an option and I really don't like to dwell on the fact that I can't have anymore children. Still kinda painful, ya know??

Please don't ask stupid questions. I should not have to justify my actions and decisions to you or anybody else.

The Big 0-3

2010-06-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, so she technically turned 3 a while ago, but her pics were just recently done by Jacqui at Dochara Photography.

She's a cutie, but she was spitting in every single picture.

A BIG thanks to Alison for letting us borrow the pretty pink shoes.

The Other Miss Alison

2010-06-14T22:33:00.003-07:00

This is Alison. To keep it straight, we use Aly and Alison. Or big Ali and little Aly.

Alison is the respite/habilitation worker in charge of Bryon. She's great. She spends 80+ glorious hours in our household.

Please don't ask what I did before her. I have blocked out that very painful memory.

Miss Alyson

2010-06-14T08:24:00.003-07:00

That's her. Miss AlyBear. AlyLally. Little Miss. Princess. Diva. Brat. :)

She's as sweet as she looks and twice as evil.

At the ripe old age of 3 she already understands the importance and the joy of being a girl.

Granted, she won't let ME do her hair, but she'll let anyone else.

She loves to cover herself in my makeup and lets me paint her toes.

She has lots of pretty dresses that she mentions in her prayers each night.

She is the joy of her teachers at preschool and everyone at church loves her.

But I know the truth. ;) I know the naughtiness that is underneath. I know what those little tiny lungs are capable of.

I don't care about all that because she climbs into be with me each morning. And when she doesn't want me to move her, she closes her eyes and pretends to snore. It's very cute.

If she's sleepy, she still prefers to lay on my shoulder and she will snuggle to her hearts content. As long as it was her idea.

She broke her femur. Seriously. I have 2 boys, and my daughter broke her femur.

Alyson is "typical" except for a speech delay that is fairly natural when your 2 older brothers don't speak. 1 semester of school, however, and she is talking up a storm. That girl has A LOT to say. We have very high hopes that she will enter into a typical kindergarten class in a few years.

And, in case you were wondering, I already have the shotgun that will be more than necessary when she begins to date. She is too pretty for my own good.

Timothy

2010-06-13T13:08:00.002-07:00

Timothy, Tim, Timmy, TT, TBone, or even TimmyTims. He goes by many names and responds to them all.

Timmy does nothing half way. He doesn't do things for long, but he goes all out. He will put every ounce of love he has into one giant squeeze and then walk away.

1, 2, 3, SQUEEZE! He will come running!

The only time I get to snuggle him now is when he is sleeping.

As a baby, it was impossible to hold him and not all asleep, and it's still pretty much the same now. He just seems to lull you to sleep.

He is my little genius. Seriously. The kid is wicked smart.

He loves puzzles. And sadly, "Caillou". (I hate that show.)

He can memorize anything and will then proceed to say it repeatedly. When he began to talk, I had to watch my mouth. :)

He isn't the biggest fan of his little sister, but it's getting better. He was unimpressed the moment we walked in the door with her.

He loves books. As long as anybody but me tries to read to him.

He ADORES the Wii. Especially Wii play. Ever play the shooting game? The last level with the aliens? He will patiently squat and bide his time until I get to that level. Then, when the aliens come, he runs around waving his arms and screaming like a little girl. I always lose when he does that, but it is oh so worth it.

After 3 long and glorious years of preschool, he is finally headed to kindergarten. I just know he is going to love all day everyday school. He has been feeling deprived since Bryon went off to real school.

He is so cute and sweet, that I almost forgive him for trying to break my nose. Every. Single. Day. Maybe I'm a sucker because he looks just like me.

Timothy was diagnosed and having "moderately-severe" autism. I don't understand why it isn't moderate. Or just severe. Doctors are weird like that.

People ask if he is autistic like Bryon.

"Nope. He's just Timmy."

Meet My Bryon

2010-06-11T11:13:00.004-07:00

This is Bryon.

I love all my kids, but Bryon is, without question, the sweetest and most affectionate.

If you have never met him, I highly suggest you take a few minutes to do so. 5 minutes with this boy can drastically change your life.

He likes the Backyardigans. And Blue's Clues.

He LOVES to sing. He was voted best singer in his first grade class.

He likes pipe cleaners. The sparkly ones, not the fuzzy ones. There's a difference.

He likes to play outside so he can swing. And jump on the trampoline. And climb my fence into the neighbors yards, but that is another blog post all together.

He has the ability to squeeze himself into the tightest space so he can snuggle in and hopefully get a tickle. He love, love, loves tickles. He will sit there for hours and get his back tickled. If you are willing to tickle him, he will be your best friend for life.

Bryon has been diagnosed as severely autistic.

Do not ask me if my child is autistic. My answer is simple and always the same.

"No, he's Bryon."