Monday, April 26, 2010

My Dirty Little Secret

Every so often I have a longish, serious-ish blog post. This is it. You don't have to read it. I just need to say it.

I am a huge failure in the autism community.

There. I said it. I am not the super star advocate that I am supposed to be because I have autistic children.

I am not interested in genetic testing. Or research groups. I don't care what causes it. I am not interested in a cure.

I am interested in giving my kids the best life I can.

I am a little embarrassed to say that I didn't know April was autism awareness month until one of my Facebook friends posted something about it. I was like, "well, better get on this. It will be expected."

Don't get me wrong, I do everything I can For. My. Kids.

All I want to do is live my life and help my kids be happy. They get speech. And OT (not that we have found a provider in the last 2 years) and they adore our Respite/Habilitation worker.

They do well in school. They are growing. We go to the dentist. We play soccer.

People ask me what I think about this doctor and that treatment. My general answer is "Who?" or "What?" People ask my opinion on new therapies. Am I going to have another baby so I can use the cord blood to "heal" my autistic child. Um, no. No, I will not. Even if I could have more children(which I can't. hello Mr. Hysterectomy) I wouldn't.

In the autism world, I am considered a downer who feels there is no hope so I shouldn't even try. Not true. I have not let this disease devestate my life. I feel like all these moms that are seeking treatments and cures are missing out on a lot of other stuff. I feel like they are the hopeless ones because they HAVE let this disease devestate them. They will not settle until their child is "cured".

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I have these kids because I am supposed to. They are the way they are because they are supposed to be.

Long story short, I wouldn't change a thing about my absolutely perfect children.


Jax @ AlyandAsh said...

Well I think you do a great job so there!

KaNdRa and JaReD said...

I say more power to you! I think you are absolutely right and you are taking the route that is right for you. The other route is not for everyone and should not be looked down upon if it isn't.
Glad your kids are growing and improving!

greta said...

AMEN AMEN AMEN! i could never say what you just said without horrible looks and responses such as "you don't understand" or "you don't HAVE an autistic child" but i one hundred percent agree with you tenille. AAAAMMMMEEENNNN!!!!!!! :)

Tenille said...

well, now you can say, My sister in law has 2 and she feels the same way. :)

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Amy said...

You go girl!

~j. said...

You are making the right choices for your family.

Matt and Brianna said...

I am so happy that you are happy in life and pleased with what the Lord has blessed you with. I do not search for a "cure" I just know my babies have some of the biomedical side effects that come in tow with autism. I do all I can to make my kids have the most normal life possible. I do the diet and supplements and the DAN! dr. But that is the extreme that I do. I just want my kids to fit in and not feel "weird" or out of place. I have already seen it happening. So, I just wanted to say I am not devastated, just working as hard as you do to make your kiddos happy!!

I love you Tenille!! And nobody knows ANYONE'S situation. You rock my dear!!!