In Case You Forgot

To my children... a few reminders since you seem to need them.

1. Nudity. Nudity is acceptable only when taking a bath, changing clothes, diapers, etc, or when mommy can take a cute picture of your tush while you pee on a fence or something.

Nudity is not acceptable :
when watching a movie on the couch
because your brother is naked
because you don't like the fact that mommy helped you get dressed

2. Breakfast. Breakfast is to be eaten, not thrown on the floor. Especially when you want more 30 seconds later. I'm not saying anymore because I am still upset about this one.

3. Peeing. The rugs you like to pee on, they happen to be in front of the toilet that you are supposed to pee in. Stand ON the rug, pee IN the toilet.

4. Inside voices. Don't scream at me. I don't want to hear it. I can hear you. FYI.

5. Bubbles. I don't like blowing bubbles as much as you like seeing them blown. Deal with it.

6. Naps. You will take a nap. There is no negotiation. Naps. You will want them when you are a teenager, let's just get into the habit now. Okay? okay. Also, if you take a nap, I am less likely to kill you. So, whatever. Your choice.

7. I am your mommy which means I am bigger, faster, and will always win. So don't fight me. I will win. There's the easy way, the hard way, and the painful way. Take your pick.