Sunday, June 27, 2010

3 Years/It's Just a Stupid Sock

So, here's the thing. Today is the 3rd anniversary of my hysterectomy. I really thought that I was going to be a little better this year.

I've been blogging a lot about it and feel like I have let go of a lot of grief and frustrations.

This year was going to be better.

Yesterday, I found this.

This stupid pink sock made me cry. I cried every time I thought about the stupid pink sock.

I cried for the little girl that would never wear it.

I cried because I would never have a little boy so I could wish the sock was blue so he could wear it.

This adorable, yet hateful sock will never have a purpose in my home. I will never again have any use for it.

That sucks.


Judi said...

I am sorry Tenille, On a small scale I can understand, EVERY time I see ANYHTING pink or girly I wonder why I couldn't get my little girl. I would NEVER change any of my boys, but a small aprt of me still wonders why.

Cluttered Brain said...

You are Awesome. You know that?
Your strength in sharing your hurts and pains are helping others probably more than you know.

I haven't lost a child but I can see the service you are giving to others and I think it is beautiful.
God bless you, Tennille.
You are wonderful.

Momnerd said...

Oh sweet honey. My heart is aching for you right now. I haven't had anything permanent, but we tried for a girl for one and a half years and I've decided we're done. Then we're moving and in our attic we discovered a box of little girl clothes from a previous renter. I started crying for the little girl I would never have.

Maxine Conrad said...

Love ya girl :) x

Amy Jo Madsen said...

Yes, yes it does. I experience (on a smaller scale) the same kinds of things, and I know they hurt terribly. Our ward is full of little babies right now, and it's killing me. Here's hoping your hurt will lessen, even though I know it will never go away.