Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Worst Question Ever

I get asked a lot if I am going to have anymore children.

My answer is always no, because, well, I've had a hysterectomy and all.

People usually say something along the lines of "well, you never know..."

Yeah. I do. This is usually the part where I totally embarrass them and mention the whole, "I don't have a uterus anymore thanks for reminding me of that very sad thing." (But only if they really push the issue)

The other possible follow up is, "Is it because you're afraid that another baby will have autism?"

Um, no. Can I smack you now?

They always seem to use the word "afraid."

I am not afraid of autism. That would just be stupid. There is nothing wrong with my children. I adore them just as they are. As does almost everyone that meets them.

Would I have more kids if I could? I have no idea. Because that isn't an option and I really don't like to dwell on the fact that I can't have anymore children. Still kinda painful, ya know??

Please don't ask stupid questions. I should not have to justify my actions and decisions to you or anybody else.


greta said...

couldn't agree more! why do people say things like that? when people ask me if i'm going to have more kids i always beat them to the punch by saying "no, i had my tubes tied after my baby and i almost died. two times almost dying with a baby is enough for me, thank you very much." that usually shuts them up. i hate stupid questions. afraid of autism? seriously? come on people.

Cluttered Brain said...

You go girl!!

I can see why Mombabe likes you.
You are just as fun and spunky like her! ;)

And I can see why that is the WORST question ever.

Next to that would be, "Are you pregnant?" OR "When are you due?"

Monica said...

I get that question too and I never can tell if it's because they think we should or if they think we shouldn't. We are very unusual in the SMA community for going on to have more biological children after learning we carried for a genetic disorder. We're more unusual for having children even though we had other "healthy" children. When we adopted, so many people assumed it was so we could be assured that the child didn't have SMA and that had absolutely nothing to do with it.

It's just none of anyone's business.

Thanks for the invite over, I already knew and loved your blog - especially post-conference!


Mark and Jessica said...

My answer is always - "nope, no longer an option. how about you?"

seriously, your boys are amazing and anyone who's met them wouldn't be "afraid" to have one just like them!

Britney said...

I almost wonder if any of those silly questions come from your/my mothers' side of the family? Sounds like a familiar mantra from some of the less-civilized (that I've heard quite a bit myself), and you're surrounded by them in Mesa!!! so sorry...